On Wednesday 8th June our Rethink Carers group held a ‘Celebration of Self Help’ at The Manchester Carers Centre. Our aim was to invite anyone interested or affected by mental illness to drop in and find out about what we and other groups have to offer in the Manchester area. There was a fantastic turnout and it appeared that those who came along got something out of it – from accessing information, having a free therapy massage or confidence coaching session, or some of the sumptuous food on offer. We even had a ‘sticky wall’ where people wrote on little notes about what it is that makes them feel good and stuck them onto the ‘wall’
For my part, I had amazing day! I gave 1-1 confidence coaching sessions to a number of service users and carers.
What struck me most was how each person’s uniqueness shone through. And even more, how each one of them had shown an incredible inner strength in finding ways to deal with life’s adversities. For example, one person was coming to terms with having to begin living their life again after a tragedy had left them unable to function properly.
Another person felt they weren’t being heard by people in authority so we looked at the notion of the louder one shouts the less others hear! We looked at ways this person could get their message across by using less, but more succinct language, spoken in a lower tone in order to make their point.
Someone else wanted to be more assertive and didn’t realise how easy it is to ask for what they want and feel heard, until we did a mini role play which dispelled their own myth of ‘I can’t do that’.
I’ve noticed that people who have come through mental anguish or distress, don’t acknowledge their own strength - the strength it takes to get through. They see their illness as a weakness because at the time of suffering hopelessness and fear are all consuming. Fear and hopelessness are mental barriers that keep us from participating in all that life has to offer.
I remember, during the part of own personal journey through fear, reading a ‘Truth’ from the book ‘Feel the Fear and do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. She states ‘pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness’. It always inspires me when I meet people who have pushed through their own pain barrier because it gives me, and countless others, hope.
There’s an acronym I use for fear - False Expectations Appearing Real – I keep this message on my desk along with ‘this too, shall pass’. My grandma use to always say this, such wise words :)
Here’s hoping to see you at our next meeting, which is always on the second Wednesday of the month.
Lindsey Cree
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